A happy place where you are accepted,
Some want to drift some need to, some will play some will stay, some will watch, some will want and will attract storms.
Keep It Simple Sailor Learn the basics
The use of the Maslow Hierarchy of needs, is a conceptual model. We review it as that helps you sitting on the deck, in sunset, meditating directly to the apex of the model. .
The base in Maslow’s triangle is: Air and oxygen, temperature, food, drink, place for sleep, and a nice toilet. ……
Some folks have a large base with lots of other needs. If any item fails, then the upper level of Safety of self and living space, with no physical illness, is not occupied.
LEVEL 3, with love and belongingness, appreciation of the freedom to be you, is not enjoyed on board. We shall help you assess that, as a learning opportunity. The next levels are: Esteem Needs - your achievement as crew or passenger, Cognitive Needs- of learning any sailboat, Aesthetic beauty in art, nature, ( The Blue Rose is Here ) then you open up to Self Actualization with more open spirituality. *
So LEVEL 3 Applied:
on the boat with people we help describe another person’s baseline items. We share, we don’t criticize, as it takes away their higher function.
The response of some young folks is to reduce their base, and move quickly toward self actualization. They need less food, less posessions, les shelter, less entertainment.
How do we use this in the Blue Rose Sailing ?
CONTRACTING
-The very first thing we agree on is that there will be no yelling. Just say it with clear annunciated messaging with voice volume related to the wind and waves.
Then; No Passive aggressive actions
Then; your ability to move on the floating structure, the decks cabin stairways, lifelines, dinghy, are you comfortable and have a feeling of choice or are you hesitation ?
Then peoples modesty levels needs be open and provided for. Like a High School locker room we are physically close. At times semi-nudity may occur in the spaces, so is discussed before we start. , as it can distract from relationship presence. Swims along the beaches or suntanning are likewise. If you have a diet, disability, injury - ask us.
Then we all group and be calm and make decisions on the logics, the ocean environment, the charts, the weather and our group feelings of the right or safe thing to do, and then ask what do we read of each other as the next passage.
We also live in places described by CARL JUNG. Dynamics of relationships, living in a fog, only certain things you reveal with your searchlight, too many storms, too may calm days, may be directing you to your soul or your other child’s dream that will a better life to create.
We also can speak in affirmed stories, the ongoing narrative , repeating the errors, when some small choice in early life can be reviewed to now grow a strong different living space. What is the group’s narrative for the voyage, and who is empowered to change that ? NARRATIVE THERAPY and INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS may be helpful here.
PASSAGE PLANNING
The other routine of Passage planning is how far can we get, what is the shoreline and places of refuge, the weather and winds.
Along the way, we may see Squalls out in the pacific. Watch, will they come for us to take advantage of their winds. Yes storms transport. What are the options ?
As each day comes it will be created from last evenings review of charts hung up around the cabin. It is the morning feelings, when we arise and wander around, that decide the days voyage.
For there is no panic - panic produces yelling. We assess easy others whole presentation in a kind tradition.
Each day you have permission to stop the voyage and leave the ship, or just remain on the spot. Every day we chose to go, or not. Any Not-Go may be based on intuitive or relationship knowledge, that may come up during sleep. Blue Rose is a logic vessel, sometimes guided by magic. It is an ongoing therapy, for this has to be separated from any residual childhood anxiety patterns, and the use of the logical charts. It is a reflection of real life.
When the crew lives in nature , the plastic, becomes obvious. We talk about the solutions then you actually cary out your talk.
THE YELLING can be a threat to the "needs” base layer; as our Mammalian brain wiring responds as if the body will be killed, it takes a mini second to move into freeze and die, fight or run. Right away, the housing and food don't mater, safety is gone, need action. So, the higher levels don't happen. Triggers for men are: the woman's higher pitch & loud voice, and for her it is his low loud tone. This is misused by selfish people, and on a ship selfish is the danger to a crew - as the receiver feels instantly that their selves don't mater at some unknown future point. Captains can be very charming, until you are out there, and the storm breaks and fear arises and someone needs to be blamed- that is where the crew traumas can come from. So no yelling - just give clear articulated instructions. Yes, loud enough to be received and a signal given back that it understood. Or use the hand signals .
PTSD and TRAUMAS are from early life, careless authorities, bullies and we unwind that in several ways:
On Rosie any people-at-people yelling is banned as it means loss, it means grief that a happy team is dying. It would mean the trip is over. All future cabin life after yelling, is by contract and negotiation. It can take hours to recover from yelling, and even days. For most people it has broken the trust of being safe. It changes the receiver, and they form a memory and begin to manage all future interactions, or sometimes they begin to yell and fight and go wild to protect their feelings of self. If the receiver is joined by another person who encourages the shock and yells and blames as well, we all are now shocked and changed. That event requires negotiation and rebuilding of the team for the voyage. Just saying you are sorry only fixes it in the first couple of hours. A hug is the nervous system’s reset button. However hugs and personal contact are negotiated out before the voyage, so the ability to attune to the other person makes for the safe happy adventure. The ability to yell and deride and criticize makes for the nightmare adventure, just why would you march around criticizing or blaming - never mind any storms or ship malfunctions. Let us build each other up .
For the human there is the lifestyle requirements. The skipper & Crew needs to know ahead of time what is the normal and what might be the least that the person can live with, and still function on the higher levels. For it is the higher levels that make the voyage safe, and the highest that make it a happy memorable adventure.
To say it another simple way: This sailing experience is not the traditional Military Navy, or even the Racing model of operating a Crew and a Boat, OK ? Please, do not bring that with you. This sailing is about group attuning, and within that is Mentoring .
Adventure means you return with happy stories. You have mentored someone. We don’t like the other method of barely returning with terrible shocking stories, that one is frozen into repeating or totally silent. We call that shock and trauma, OK, there are more polite references like disappointments, or scary moments. It is the scary moments that went bad and no one was there to protect or assist to recover. Lets learn what Mentoring is too !
RESLIENCE
A word on resilience, for any skipper or crew to assume the other has resilience is damaging to that resilience, kind of like yelling, It basically says; “we expected you to perform the job and you didn’t so, you are no good here.”
True resilience is that within each person. Your empowered by knowing and then having choice. Bullies seek to rob you of your choices. We call it Free Will. You have the self reliance skills - like a ship has a lifeboat. You find that you have a selection of talents, and an ability to walk or run away, and you will still receive basic needs in another fashion. Your walk away, can be physical along the shoreline, or mental skill sets, or adjusting quickly to seeing the other person for their motivation, or seeing the event differently. On the voyage this may be required several times .
REFRAMING THE FACE OF ADVENTURE: means that; you care for the planet as well as the others, and the self. Some only do self care, or you may be the "forever giving" person, who needs self time. Some may accuse you of only helping others only if you are liked. Lets find a balance. Please, just notice if you require others to cook, clean, repair and navigate. So we like the balance - go do things to physically support, talk is part of action. Endless talk should be reciprocal no pontificating, and call each other on the pronouncements.
So Blue Rose will go over the basics of how each adventure for growth is begun. Like the planet we are intertwined. Accept that we need all the normal life and all the sustaining elements, which is more than “pack out what you pack in”. The life and emotional sustaining, then is a good definition of: respect for any other human. However we have boundaries. The waves are real, as are the storms. Respect happens for each of us, until they prove to be a hazard to much of our baseline and so we cannot live side by side any longer. If we continue, then it will be talked out, for it may become that the rest of the crew is doing voluntary assistance not repaid by the secretly identified “Danger Person”. Let’s go over that at the dock first.
In the Hierarchy Triangle is the following list: Do not use it to terrorize people or create anxiety. You may feel that your workplace has bullies who misuse this, to keep you anxious. This is more commonly called “Politically Intelligent Leadership”, but it is actually bullying.
Your little home on the water needs to be seen to provide the following :
Air to breath and water to drink, mobility of self
Safety of the body and brain; they operate as one, in the mammal
safety of the personality, self image and skills and talents - the human mind
Safety of housing
sleep
food - good safe healthy food, yes, but not luxury creations for entertainment.
On the boat , sending people on deck in a storm to get injured is level one on the triangle. It it learned first. Also putting the weaker person, man / woman on the bow to be hoisting of the anchor chain in the storm. — > Safety First <---
Or for those who like a tight schedule:
#1 the Brain is adjustable, NeuroScience, NeuroSclupting.
#2 the diet is affecting your stone age style body and Renaissance brain .
#3 attune, listen, talk, guide, cry, laugh, trust, emotions allowed, share, mindful, spirit
#4 exercise, use your muscles, just go do it, get out there - fix it - chop wood carry water.
* ( we do not charge for access to Spirituality - please, it is not a new industry, for the ego has always intruded on the sacred. Likewise, we do not advocate the use of drugs, smoke, mood altering substances, except as necessary to control damage to the body or alleviate a psychotic state.)
From the Sailing Rendezvous , Lex Peterson has a Point of view: “ Further on he reflects, “What struck me about this trip was seeing how important it is to belong to a community, a tribe, a support network. It doesn’t matter whether the currency of your tribe is big houses and fancy cars, or happy children, small fishes and music till 5 a.m.
What matters is your participation. Do you add value to your community or just consume its resources?” (Currents April 2003)